Shine On, 2008

in no particular order...

- becoming closer to some very special people
- still not hating my job
- making Christmas cards
- getting a new camera
- exchanging 'i love you's
- watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall over and over again
- Robert Downey Jr's sexy ass comeback
- "Sex and the City" the movie <3
- getting into South Park (thanks to Juan)
- my panda costume
- homemade items from Jenn, Justine, Lisa, and Jess :)
- The Dark Knight (midnight premieres rock my world)
- a special book made by Jess as my Christmas present; 48 pages full of pictures, hand-written words, quotes, drawings, funny captions, secrets only we know, etc, documenting the past 5 or 6 years of our friendship.
- my friends finding love
- getting a Costco card (thanks to my sister)
- my friends' inspirational ambitions & accomplishments
- accidentally finding Roscoe's in LA
- Lee's Sandwiches opening on Fullerton & Colima
- Leona Lewis
- party bus for Martin and Dann's birthdays
- the Olympics!
- Taco Tuesdays in the OC
- Green Shit Wednesdays
- presidential election
- Amy Ryan as Holly on The Office
- the dream is still alive

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

CHRISTMAS!! my favorite :)

i actually did wait until midnight to open my cards and presents last night. i don't really much care for material things, but i love the seeing the thought displayed through words and gestures. that's why i always ask for homemade gifts. this year was quite nice. everything i received was lovely and useful. for example, my sister and her BF got me a TomTom, which i certainly can use, seeing how i get lost so easily. i won't go on and on about the things i received, suffice it to say that i really really really loved and appreciated the thoughts & efforts & creativity that went into them :) it also meant a lot to me that some gifts were personally delivered to me while i was at work or at home. thank you <333

we spent Christmas Eve at my aunt's house last night. then we went home, surprised our parents with the TV, and i got to enjoy the rest of the evening watching Judd Apatow movies and talking to Louie on the phone. as of this morning, i'm just chilling at home. i took tomorrow off, so i won't have work until Monday! very, very chill :) loving it to the max.


Merry Christmas to all!

Bad Habit

i always write blogs that i never post.
what am i afraid of?
lame ass motherfucker.

Merry Christmas to Me

from me, to me.
the best kind of present there is :)

ehh, i deserved it. i've worked really hard this year, not only in my professional life, but also my friendships and personal growth. i don't know why i even waited this long. i think i just needed time to decide which camera was "the one" for now. i'd actually had my heart set on the XTi, but opted for the XS because of the price. this one just seems more sensible. i'm sure once i get it in the mail, i'd fall madly in love with it. Jenn and i are already planning on capturing some shots in LA together. naturally :) yeah, i'm pretty freakin' stoked.


i want to make Christmas cards.

We Need a Resurrection

i feel like i've reached a point in my life where something needs to change. i'm not sure what exactly, but it feels like it has to do with my ambitions and goals. i'm currently at a standstill. when people ask me what i want to do with my life, and i tell them that i don't know, i always get a sneaking suspicion that they think i'm lying. surely, a person cannot have NO passion for anything in life? i do have passions and dreams, yet, i don't think i'm capable enough as of right now to pursue them sucessfully. i was your typical dreamer back in the day. i still sort of am, but i've put a cap on that whole deal and stepped into reality. the dreams themselves have also gotten fuzzy in the past few years as i grew to see LIFE more clearly. i've been told that i need to just go after and try out different things to get more perspective, but i honestly just have no desire.

when i stopped going to school a year ago ("dropped out" are such nasty words...), i made a very bold decision that was completely out of character. i kept a casual attitude about it in front of others, but i could not stop the loud voices in my head asking myself what i was doing. in retrospect, i'd made the right decision for me, but i somewhat still can't believe i did that. i had 3 years worth of college credit/education under my belt, not to mention all the tuition & book fees & art supply fees i'd paid out of my own pockets from balancing 2 back-to-back jobs, all the while avoiding loans and debt. i did myself proud, but i did not cross the finish line. instead, i started going down a completely different path. most people can't comprehend that concept, and it's not their fault because the whole thing sounds totally stupid. i believe somewhere along the lines of "finding myself through education", i became more lost than ever. i was overwhelmed with ambition and a feeling of incompetence at the same time. i needed to pull myself out of a destined failure, so i did. it wasn't about the grades, it was about the lack of satisfaction and fulfillment.

not going to lie, i do miss learning so much. being in school gave me this drive to be great. it helped me believe that i could really make an impact on the world. ha, nowadays, the daily grind owns me.

my passion in art has fizzled away in the past year or so, and it truly devastates me. i constantly tell myself to just pick up my damn brushes, but this really isn't a case of mind over matter. i suppose it's heart over EVERYTHING. but the heart is, how you say, not feeling for much lately.


my dreams used to run so wild.
now i sit in an office for 40 hours a week.
the price i paid for stability... how i miss my vigour.


enough is enough!
(easier said than done.)