Sweet, Sweet Nectar

it's raining!
what a beautiful surprise.
can't you just feel the slate being wiped clean?
i wish your slate would wipe clean.

i want so much more than what you have left to spare.

Not Interested

it is my belief that people who dwell on the past are living with one eye closed. they just can't see the big picture, and i don't understand that. we've all been through our share of bullshit in our lives. it's one thing to share your stories from time to time for the sake of conversation, but it's a different thing to remain emotionally damaged and isolated, which affects not only you but the people around you. everyone's sorry that bad things happened to you, but please, get your closure and move on.

i'm so sick of people's neuroses.

you've got to take control of your own life.

it's a universal truth that people will let you down.

expect it and accept it.

cheers.

Strangers

sometimes i wonder if other people wonder what i'm like, not to imply that people want to know me or anything. but just because i wonder about other people all the time. i like to browse Myspaces and blogs to look at how interesting people are. sometimes i re-visit the same person's site to "get more". i don't feel weird about it at all cuz i don't think you have to be someone's friend to enjoy their personality. i hope i don't come off as creepy. i'm just being honest. i wonder what jokes they would tell, what their relationship with their best friend is like, what adventures they have at 2AM and such.

same thing goes when i'm out in public. i look at people and i just wanna know what happened. i wish i knew everyone's stories. some people just look so interesting. it's a shame that i would never know anything about them. but then again, they're probably not as interesting as they look.

i think we all secretly want other people to find us interesting.

Tard.

yesterday at the office, something made me laugh so abruptly that i (boomingly) snorted. i was only a little embarrassed until someone looked at me with a "wtf" face. at that point, i started laughing more and louder to cover up my snort. but it was too late.

the damage was done.

Suck It Up, You Big Stupid Baby.

i haven't blogged in a while, contrary to the fact that i've had ever so much to say. i've written 2 entries that i never posted, which ultimately faced the "delete" button. i might have been too big of a coward to admit to myself and to whoever actually reading this blog that i've been feeling vulnerable. that and the fact that i couldn't really put everything into words, just groans and whiny noises. i was mired in my own negativity, feeling disgusted, confused, and scared. a cliché state of mind when you think everything's falling apart. but that's all over now, i believe. it's been a few days, and i've gained some perspective. i realized that things aren't half (nay, not even 1/4) as bad as my female mind had made them out to be. i definitely feel more like myself. more positive.

i feel a little silly for feeling so low in the past week or so.
i hate when i get all Moody Judy up on others.
and for that, je demande pardon.