i had the most amazing Saturday night. the entire night consisted of mostly people i'd never met, so it was quite refreshing. plus, there was no tension between different cliques. everyone was just out to have a great night and to celebrate our beloved Paul's birthday. dinner at BJ's (where else?) and after-party = funnest shit ever.Paul has the most interesting network of friends, i must say. everyone was so good-looking, friendly, and generous with compliments! they flattered me to bits & pieces. i'm still glowing. oh yes, and it was my first time taking jello shots. i didn't even know what those were before then. i had to use my fingers. such a n00b.haha i'm wayyy too used to just downing beer or doing shooters with the fam (which has what, like 90% guys?). i'd almost forgotten what it was like to drink like a girl. overall, a fantastically colorful night filled with laughter, inebriation, Menthols, "i fuckin' love you"s, and flashing lights. :)dang, the trip to CVS for Pepcid AC totally paid off. i did not get red at all. maybe slightly pink, but nothing more. that made me very excited everytime i went to the bathroom to pee. i'm so down.
Marky's mom passed away yesterday.when i found out, i couldn't contain a single thought in my head. all i could feel was worry and shock. nobody saw it coming. i'd thought the worst was over. i can't speak for him. because no matter how unfortunate this all is and how sad it has made me feel, i can never fully understand. all we can do now is to be there for Mark and respect any time he may need to recuperate. it will take some time, but time heals everything. my memory of her is nothing but pleasant. she made me laugh so much even though she was in such physical and mental anguish. but now, she's in a better place. nay, the best place :) she fought for a good while, but God has decided to relieve her of her pain and grant her eternal life in His palace. she finally gets to rest. she can run around now and eat anything she wants, and i bet she's enjoying it. time to be strong and look to places that will lead to happiness, comfort, and serenity. after all, what are friends for? sleepovers & movie nights don't sound so bad, right? love is a powerful thing.
last night was very reminiscent of the good old days.
David was next door, as always, so we decided to drive to two closed Wendy's. HA! Patrick was there too, of course, just like old times. :) i rather missed that life, just driving around aimlessly, sometimes drinking and smoking, but always talking about everything and throwing out sick ideas. dang, we talked about getting Disneyland annual passes and going there every week on shrooms or ganj. hahahaha it's the greatest idea ever. and it's also tempting. $260 isn't even expensive for the 315-days one. deterrents: 1.) the drive & high gas prices. 2.) fuckin' strollers. 3.) lines & crowds... despite all that, it's still totally worth it and i'm so down :)i want to paint my room. yessums!our office is getting re-painted everywhere and it looks so fun that i want to do it too. plus, my walls have gotten pretty dirty over the years. oh, darn my dirty little hands.no deep thoughts today.i'm starting this thing where i don't waste time thinking and making theories about people who aren't worth a damn minute of my life.:)
even just saying those words in my head makes me feel a little more positive. i have to admit, lately my mind has been clouded with various negative thoughts that wouldn't go away. and when that happens, don't we always find ourselves dwelling deeper into other meaningless things? i don't like this. i'm trying to rid all the clutter and find my center.i find happiness in simply focusing on the aspects of life that i love. i like to picture an open road taking me anywhere i want to go. makes me all giddy inside. a few of my friends are going through tough times involving their families right now. i can't help but feel bad about the fact that i'm not going through the same ordeal, so i may not fully understand how they feel. the biggest problem in my family is just anger management. my parent's health have gotten much better over the years of a reformed lifestyle. i'm grateful that we're doing just fine, but i'm worried about the other families that i've come to genuinely care about over the past year. i hate seeing my friends trapped in horrible circumstances that they cannot change. i know it's easy to feel defeated right now, but i want them to find comfort, strength, and hope, and see the light in places that were once dark. because home is where the heart is, and family is home.
what is it about eating a banana that just makes you feel like a fuckin' champ? do you feel that way too, or am i alone on this? i don't know. i think it's the way you grip it with your entire fist, and you can take whole bites with your chompers while you're gripping it. you can't do that with an apple, you know? because apples are round and you have to bite around them. and sometimes the apple touches your nose and then you have to wipe your nose. fuck that! plus, bananas have no seeds! and peeling is as easy as 1-2-3. eating one makes me feel like a big monster eating the tiny people in the village i'm attacking. i don't know.i just feel so boss when i eat a banana.
