Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Passing me by

There are moments in my day when I think I miss him so much that I choke on my lost breath.
Then I snap back into reality.

I regret nothing because it was good times.

Still, I hate feeling like he's no longer in my life and I have no way of getting him back.
There is no connection to him besides myself.

I guess the beauty in life is that you never know what the future holds.
Just like how I'd never anticipated his invitation, yet it came and took me on a wild ride.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to stay in your life for a long period of time. Although I'd known him for quite some time, his presence never lingers. And that's probably just the way it's supposed to be, as much as it sucks. I wonder how many more years will go by before we have our time again. I must admit, he came in at such a crucial time and opened my eyes to other aspects of myself. I was feeling quite low about things, then he came out of nowhere and lifted me up. I could live on that high forever. But I'm not holding my breath. At least not on purpose.


Thursday, June 18, 2009

...But We're Dealing in Percents

I had a really bittersweet experience recently. I was given a taste of something amazing, only to have it taken away from me. Definitely bums me out a lot, and I'm still not willing to give up hope. I'm fuckin' naive at times for damn sure. At least I recognize my own foolishness, I suppose. But I'm pretty sure a lot of the appeal is the mystery, the fact that I never really got it. And hence, I want more. My human nature tires me out sometimes. Given the opportunity again, I would really go for it. Balls to the wall.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

20/20



Man, John Stossel is so awesome. He always attempts to challenge the status quo in terms of "conventional wisdom". I just watched last Friday's episode online, and it sure got me riled up.

A few valid points:

1) Why should tax payers have to pay for the rescue missions for people who take stupid risks? 20/20 interviewed a few of those people, and of course they all refuted the idea of an individual having to pay for his/her own rescue. I definitely think it should be circumstantial. They interviewed this guy who laughed and admitted he was hiking in flip-flops and was ultimately stuck on the mountain with no way down. When he was billed $2,000, he refused to pay because he supposedly didn't "ask" to be rescued, even though he did phone a friend to get help... That fuckin' idiot. People should certainly be accountable for their own stupid behavior.

2) The law currently protects pregnant women from losing their jobs, but is that fair for employers? Women certainly shouldn't be discriminated for being pregnant, but they do miss work for doctor's appointments and maternity leave. In the time that they're absent, other people have to pick up the slack (and they don't get paid more). I do agree with job protection to a degree, but I think it's pretty dumb that employers are not allowed to even hint at the topic during job interviews. Personal experience: When my boss interviewed this one lady to be on our sales team, he distinctively asked her if she was able to travel for business. She said yes. At the time, she didn't appear to be pregnant - just a bit curvy maybe, so it didn't cross any of our minds. However, about a month and a half later, when she was finally hired, she had started to show. She was already 4-5 months along! She was certainly not okay to travel, and that was not acceptable for her job position. And I remember feeling so much resentment because the law protected her, even though she was dishonest. She was eventually terminated within a month, not for being pregnant, but for being vastly incompetent and just not smart.

3) Should Medicare cover elderly people who are financially independent or wealthy? Doesn't it in fact cheat those who are actually in need? "The government spends around $6 on seniors for every dollar it spends on children. And yet the poverty rate among children is far higher than is among seniors." True, these seniors have paid their dues. They themselves have contributed to the Medicare tax almost their entire working lives. HOWEVER, current beneficiaries of Medicare receive 2-3 times more than what they contributed. The government has promised $34 trillion MORE for this program than what is actually funded. Where is that money going to come from? Shouldn't eligibility be more strict and cut off the wealthy? At this rate, it's very possible that Medicare will cease to exist by the time my generation reaches that age. Old people are lucky that they're so damn cute and hard to resist.


I just love that John Stossel questions these things that we're supposed to just accept. He may not always be politically correct, but he is always on the side of fairness. He's got chutzpah! And a sick 'stache.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Static

It's sad when the person you miss the most is your old self. Granted, I'm generally the same person as I've always been, but there are those differences only I notice as I reminisce on distant memories.
I think we all tend to look back and feel silly about certain emotions and acts we'd exhibited in the past. Sometimes I wonder if it will always be like this. In a few years, will I feel stupid about the thoughts I'm having today? If so, then how solid were they to begin with?

I used to be much more open and less apologetic.
Care-free and took risks. Sporadic.
What happened?!

Did I learn a lesson through a burnt friendship? Did I mature with time? Did I lose trust in myself and others?

It's difficult to pinpoint exactly where a certain change began to occur.
And over time, you are left with the pieces.
I think this is that time for me.

I don't talk about this with anyone, because there's really no point. Thank God for blogs! (As this blog is aptly named "Perpetual Drivel of the Absurd" for a reason.)
And to be honest, I'm too ashamed to bring this up in conversation. I can be so much better, but I didn't strive for it. My failure is exposed through the very essence of my being.


Yeah, I think I'll close on that note before the violins start playing.


Cheers.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

TLK

"You can't try so hard to control it all. Life is pretty much in the grays for the most part and if you insist always on black and white, you are going to be very unhappy."

We know, but we so often forget.