10 Truths to Transform Your Life

1. Gratitude is the most transformative force in the cosmos, because gratitude is love. "When our hearts are broken, we don't think we have much to be thankful for. We don't have to be smiling when we say 'Thank you.'"

2. Your happiness increases the happiness of everyone who knows you. "We have so much. All we have is all we need. All we need is the awareness of how blessed we really are."

3. Whether we live passionately or not is a choice we make. When writers write, the most important emotion is conveyed between the lines. "I want to live in between the lines, where the depth is."

4. Those who live passionately teach us how to love. Those who love passionately teach us how to live.

5. Big changes come with small choices. "Little changes [and] little choices add up to be revolutionary changes in your life."

6. The more risks you take, the luckier you become.

7. Nothing hurts you more than your expectations. "If you trust life and learn to embrace it and try not to control everything, then life can be more wondrous than you thought it would be."

8. Our relationships with others are only as emotionally healthy, happy, holy and content as our relationships with ourselves.

9. The only wound your soul never recovers from is regret. "What I know for sure is that we don't have the luxury of regret any more. The past only asks to be remembered."

10. Cherish each morning and give thanks for each evening.


- Sarah Ban Breathnach

D.A.D. - A Reflection

i really love my friends.
we have done seemingly everything together, if not as a whole group, then as fragments of the group. we've gone grunion-running (failed attempt, no less fun), partied in Vegas, recorded original or covered songs, played at various amusement parks, made the white people stare in Arizona, rode a party bus to Hollywood, trespassed private properties, accompanied each other to potentially boring/awkward/rapist situations, discussed life at the top-of-the-world, discussed life everywhere else, aimless drives, countless shows, sleepovers like brothers and sisters and soulmates and spooners, and the list goes on for days.
we took our experiences to yet another level this past week. about 18 of us were present for Mrs. Honrado's funeral service. that's a fairly large number considering the fact that it was 1PM on a Tuesday, when most people would be at work or school. i know for a fact that at least 4 or 5 of us did skip work to be there. i also know that a lot of people really couldn't make it, but they were very well aware of everything that was happening and sent their deepest condolences and prayers. it was naturally a very sad afternoon, yet i couldn't help but feel uplifted by the love of my friends. we truly, truly from the depth of our hearts, care for each other. even though we all bicker at times, a little drama here and there, bruised egos and whatnot, we will still be there for each other at the end of the day.

i have always felt that this family we have here is unlike 99% of any other (beyond the fact that there's like 50 of us, and we'd go everywhere together). when we all started hanging out 3 years ago, we were immediately drawn to each others' personalities and interests. we would hang out every single night of the summer, and every single weekend when it wasn't summer. oh, the plans we made and the adventures we had. we always tried to outdo our previous events and added little twists to the nightly fun. remember Cage Match night? ha, that was the night i fell and left my knee with a heart-shaped scab (which i ended up showing EVERYONE because i thought it was so cool, and also because i was drunk). that seriously feels like 10 years ago.
there were the people who came and went, friends of friends, but we would always maintain a very large and amazing group in and of ourselves. there was no place we could go where we didn't demand the attention of the entire room/vicinity. the sad thing was, we all predicted that it wouldn't last. nothing this good could ever be forever. i'm really not sure if we were right or wrong, although i must say, it is quite rare to get the entire group together nowadays. now, it has to take a birthday or a big party or something really special to get everyone's attention. back in the day, one person would call you to go to someone's house, and when you showed up, everyone else would be there too. it wouldn't take anything more.
times have changed, but no one is to blame. we've all grown 3 years older and now we have more priorities that trump hanging out. people naturally and inevitably drift apart. we've also divided into different cliques, some very natural, and others intentional. people have shown their true colors, and we are no longer innocent. it is now time to stick to those we feel the closest to, because the others would be elsewhere. but looking past all of that, i believe we still love one another like brothers and sisters, even if there is division. maybe some people are just step-brothers and step-sisters :)

i guess what i have to say is, even though we don't spend time all together as often as we used to, we are still a happy family. the love and support within this group is and always will be the glue that holds us together, even when we are apart. i really miss the old days when we were still innocent, still oblivious to the fact that certain people would just not get along with each other, or that a "family member" could betray you (even after all the time, heart, and money you'd invested in your friendship). i miss the days when we'd just get intoxicated all the time, all the while knowing that we weren't really there for the alcohol. simpler days are behind us. we're still doing good.

3 years.
and hopefully many, many more.
i can't wait for the weddings, babies, first homes, and other milestones in the years ahead.
<3

Short Version: I Had Fun.

i had the most amazing Saturday night. the entire night consisted of mostly people i'd never met, so it was quite refreshing. plus, there was no tension between different cliques. everyone was just out to have a great night and to celebrate our beloved Paul's birthday.

dinner at BJ's (where else?) and after-party = funnest shit ever.

Paul has the most interesting network of friends, i must say. everyone was so good-looking, friendly, and generous with compliments! they flattered me to bits & pieces. i'm still glowing.

oh yes, and it was my first time taking jello shots. i didn't even know what those were before then. i had to use my fingers. such a n00b.
haha i'm wayyy too used to just downing beer or doing shooters with the fam (which has what, like 90% guys?). i'd almost forgotten what it was like to drink like a girl.

overall, a fantastically colorful night filled with laughter, inebriation, Menthols, "i fuckin' love you"s, and flashing lights. :)

dang, the trip to CVS for Pepcid AC totally paid off. i did not get red at all. maybe slightly pink, but nothing more. that made me very excited everytime i went to the bathroom to pee.


i'm so down.

Heaven Has a New Angel

Marky's mom passed away yesterday.
when i found out, i couldn't contain a single thought in my head. all i could feel was worry and shock. nobody saw it coming. i'd thought the worst was over.
i can't speak for him. because no matter how unfortunate this all is and how sad it has made me feel, i can never fully understand. all we can do now is to be there for Mark and respect any time he may need to recuperate. it will take some time, but time heals everything.

my memory of her is nothing but pleasant. she made me laugh so much even though she was in such physical and mental anguish. but now, she's in a better place. nay, the best place :) she fought for a good while, but God has decided to relieve her of her pain and grant her eternal life in His palace. she finally gets to rest. she can run around now and eat anything she wants, and i bet she's enjoying it.

time to be strong and look to places that will lead to happiness, comfort, and serenity. after all, what are friends for? sleepovers & movie nights don't sound so bad, right? love is a powerful thing.

Happy Faces

last night was very reminiscent of the good old days.
David was next door, as always, so we decided to drive to two closed Wendy's. HA! Patrick was there too, of course, just like old times. :) i rather missed that life, just driving around aimlessly, sometimes drinking and smoking, but always talking about everything and throwing out sick ideas. dang, we talked about getting Disneyland annual passes and going there every week on shrooms or ganj. hahahaha it's the greatest idea ever. and it's also tempting. $260 isn't even expensive for the 315-days one.

deterrents:
1.) the drive & high gas prices.
2.) fuckin' strollers.
3.) lines & crowds
... despite all that, it's still totally worth it and i'm so down :)


i want to paint my room. yessums!
our office is getting re-painted everywhere and it looks so fun that i want to do it too. plus, my walls have gotten pretty dirty over the years. oh, darn my dirty little hands.

no deep thoughts today.
i'm starting this thing where i don't waste time thinking and making theories about people who aren't worth a damn minute of my life.
:)

"Be Positive"

even just saying those words in my head makes me feel a little more positive. i have to admit, lately my mind has been clouded with various negative thoughts that wouldn't go away. and when that happens, don't we always find ourselves dwelling deeper into other meaningless things? i don't like this.

i'm trying to rid all the clutter and find my center.
i find happiness in simply focusing on the aspects of life that i love. i like to picture an open road taking me anywhere i want to go. makes me all giddy inside.

a few of my friends are going through tough times involving their families right now. i can't help but feel bad about the fact that i'm not going through the same ordeal, so i may not fully understand how they feel. the biggest problem in my family is just anger management. my parent's health have gotten much better over the years of a reformed lifestyle. i'm grateful that we're doing just fine, but i'm worried about the other families that i've come to genuinely care about over the past year.
i hate seeing my friends trapped in horrible circumstances that they cannot change. i know it's easy to feel defeated right now, but i want them to find comfort, strength, and hope, and see the light in places that were once dark.

because home is where the heart is, and family is home.

Le Sexy Fruit

what is it about eating a banana that just makes you feel like a fuckin' champ? do you feel that way too, or am i alone on this? i don't know. i think it's the way you grip it with your entire fist, and you can take whole bites with your chompers while you're gripping it. you can't do that with an apple, you know? because apples are round and you have to bite around them. and sometimes the apple touches your nose and then you have to wipe your nose. fuck that! plus, bananas have no seeds! and peeling is as easy as 1-2-3. eating one makes me feel like a big monster eating the tiny people in the village i'm attacking.

i don't know.
i just feel so boss when i eat a banana.

Intentions vs. Actions

it doesn't really matter whether or not you have good or bad intentions, it really doesn't fuckin' matter. it's your actions that exemplify your state of mind and reveal your true character. "actions speak louder than words." come on, we all know this by now.

if you don't intend to lie, yet you never spill the truth, then you are, in fact, a liar.

you can good-intention your ass off to the world, but what you do speaks to who you are. your selfish acts will not go unseen. but it really is okay, though, for the people around you, because you're the one who has to live with yourself at the end of the day.

you'd like to think that your actions don't have consequences, but they do. and whether or not you even care, you are losing respect.
even if nobody gets hurt from your actions, the validity of your so-called friendship will become questioned. when the outcome is unknown, and you still take the dive, you are then risking someone else's happiness for the sake of your own.
that's when you become spilled milk.

They Work Hard, They Play Hard

busy weekend, this one was -- not a lot of sleep and way too much driving. Daylight Savings kicked my ass. i'm so tired that i came to work on time so that i can go home on time to sleep. i've also lost my voice. being sick was a likely factor, but i'm pretty sure last night's show sealed the deal.

sick girl hitting up her favorite store, Target, to get her new favorite tissue:

this is such an amazing product! it used to just be a cute commercial to me, but now it is my nose's best friend. it is incredibly soft, and you can really feel the lotion inside. mmmhmm :) i <3 Procter & Gamble.

so another politician is in the news today facing a scandal. "New York governor involved in prostitution ring." big whoop. everybody knows that rich old men pay to get laid. that, or they have affairs. or they launder money. same old story. the interesting part of the article was the rates that these prostitutes go for. based on how "good" they are, a whore can charge up to $5,500 an hour! i wonder how much of the money actually goes to the whores themselves. even if they get only half of what they earn, it's still a lot of money! i mean, for an hour?! a measly hour of taking it and faking it? easy money, no income tax. dignity and self-respect: what's that? oh, prostitution. good game.

and what's with the wives always standing by their husbands' side while they make an embarrassing public apology? bullshit. what a political stunt. don't they know that they're only making a mockery of themselves? more than likely, they're getting something out of it. the last say in every discussion? a summer share in the Hamptons? Kobe!

Mo Money, Less Problems

one of the good things about my job is that i get to be surrounded by older people with lots of real-world experiences, willing to share their wisdom. i feel even more inspired now to save money and not spend so much on pointless objects that only bring temporary highs.

i've made a plan for myself and i need to stick to it.

from this day forth, i shall be frugal and proficient with my resources.

i declare this aloud so that i may feel the pressure to follow through. i need the pressure.

i'll still spend money on things that make me feel happy, fulfilled, and inspired, but i will need to re-evaluate what those things are.

travelling is definitely something i still plan to invest in, as costly as it may be. that will never change.

the future starts today :)
get excited!

Feed the Hungry

i fed 300 children today.
it's a great feeling.

the smallest contribution can do so much.
i've never donated to any causes outside of Darfur, but i feel very safe with my money in the hands of the World Food Programme, the largest humanitarian agency in the world. it is the food aid branch of the U.N. that feeds about 90 million people a year.

i think it's amazing that people can spend all their money on cigarettes, alcohol, clothes, etc, and yet, not give a penny to those who just need food to survive.

we're not all millionaires, but we can give what we can.
being brought up in a Christian environment, i've seen my mother donate money week after week, money that she wouldn't even give her own kids to spend. that woman had it right. as a child, i actually thought she was foolish for giving her money away without getting anything in return. i think a lot of grown-ups today still have that mindset!

people have this mentality that their money is their money, because they earned it (or got it from their parents). i think that's sad, considering there are those who are born into extreme poverty, decaying warzones, and no opportunity.

we have it so much better than them.
and i admit, i can be a spendthrift myself at times. but i really am trying to help now.
i should really cut down on my spendings, focus on saving more money and making contributions every month.
that's definitely the goal.

:)


http://www.wfp.org/
http://www.friendsofwfp.org/

Rude Awakening

so our dear roofers came to fix our roof today.
at 8 in the morning.

and they didn't stop, nay. when i left for work at 8:55, they were still banging away.
i laid in bed for 30 minutes with them just hammering right above my room. i was way too sleepy to get up, so i had to simply lay there and accept it. (that's what she said!) anyway, it was so sad. you should've seen me. so, so sad. haha

the best part about the whole ordeal was that there was nothing wrong with the roof.
i think they were just renovating it if anything. it definitely made for an interesting morning. and by "interesting", i mean awful.

have a nice day :)