Time of the Month

i don't give a shiiit -- that's how i feel right now.
i guess it's just my body chemistry making me feel this way.
i really just wanna go home and sleeeeeep.
hmmmm... that sounds good right now.


so Friday night was the Spice Girls concert. needless to say, it was quite the phenomenon. i'm soooo happy that i bought tickets. the night went very smoothly and wasn't chaotic at all, to my surprise.
however, i still ask this question: why were there so many crazy teenage fans at the show? they looked to be 14-16 years old. that doesn't make a lick of sense. when the Spice Girls were big, those girls were, on average, 5 years old. i don't remember shit from when i was 5 except that i drew a lot and my dogs kept dying. i doubt that i was singing along to any music. when the Spice Girls left the pop scene, their music wasn't exactly being played everywhere, like the Beatles or something. i guess i'm just really confused about that. :T


anyway, Dear Life is signed to Uprising Records!
the contract was officially signed last night at the Apostol residence.
we went out to BJ's afterwards to celebrate, all under Dear Life's account. i thought that was really awesome because i always pay for food when i go out, and not even just for myself. it seriously felt so damn good to have someone else pay for once. i don't like being treated very often though, because it makes me feel uncomfortable. buuuuut, once in a while is just fine with me :D

the funniest thing about last night happened on the way to Kinko's after BJ's to fax the contract. everyone was really excited, and most of the guys were drunkish. so right when we pulled into the parking lot of Kinko's, Matt says to Vince "a paper just flew out the window. did you need that?" and it wasn't until Vince answered did we realize that the paper, which flew out the window, was the signatures. hahahaha we all seriously laughed so hard. Siordia was driving behind us and we told his car to go get the paper. and OF COURSE, they had to run OVER the paper with the car before they actually picked it up. so in the end, the boys faxed over a contract with tire marks all over it :)

true story.


oh and afterwards, all the boys went to a strip club.
being the only girl, i was NOT down.
i guess i just don't like naked chicks as much as they do.


i've got 1.5 hours here at work, then i'm free as a bird.
whenever i cough, someone else coughs.
i don't get it. are they playing a game? :(

My Last Words

last night after i came home, which was promptly at 11:35PM, i dove into two of my favorite guilty pleasures: Sex and the City and Oprah.


as always, Oprah had raised a very interesting, yet not unheard of, question:
if you could have just one more day with someone who has passed on, who would it be and what would you say/do with that person?

the show featured Kristine Carlson, a widow whose husband, inspirational writer Richard Carlson, passed away a year ago at the age of 45. he lived his life to the fullest and never stressed the "small stuff", as his books proclaimed. just 4 years before his untimely death, on the couple's 18th wedding anniversary, Richard gave his wife a letter that contained all of the things he has ever wanted and needed to say to her, just in case he should die before he had the chance to. the letter was long enough to be a book, so it is being released in January under the title "An Hour to Live, An Hour to Love: The True Story of the Best Gift Ever Given". (that wasn't a plug, that was just a little F.Y.I. thing in case anyone was interested in reading it.)

anyway, the whole segment just made me realize that i don't want to leave the world without giving my last words. i fear that if i don't, then it would be like i never even existed at all; that i would just be a mere faded memory and an inactive Myspace profile.

i think about my impending death a lot, actually. i've witnessed enough to know that life is unpredictable in every way possible, so death eludes no one. i'm the person who asks her friends that annoying question, "would you cry if i died?" i guess i just want to know how the world will react to my passing, obviously because once i've died, i wouldn't be able to find out. i'd like to think that i've made enough of an impact on the people around me that i will be missed everyday for the rest of someone's life. i want my death to inflict just a little bit of sorrow in my loved ones, and then i want them to smile at the things that i've said and done, and then move on with life. i want my picture to be carried around in their wallets, so that it won't always be in plain view, but is still easily-accessible upon request. i want them to write letters to me to throw into the ocean. i don't want an open casket; i don't want my last image in their minds to be my lifeless body. i want to be a song.


no one can dictate how they want the world to spin after their departure, but you can always make an effort to shine as much light as you can during your time on earth.

My Kind of Baby

Happy Hannukah!

today is Day One of Hannukah.

the Holidays are really falling upon us FAST.
i am ever so excited :)


Justine and i have gone Christmas shopping two nights in a row.
we've accomplished so much! and have gone everywhere!


with all the money i've already spent, i think i may need to down-size my list a little bit. or i might just have to go with the less expensive gift ideas. i know that i won't be getting nearly as much in return as i will give, but that doesn't really bother me. i think Christmas is the time for us to show people that we actually do love & appreciate them, even if we don't always talk to or see them.
i've decided that my parents are Priority on my list this year, but i still don't know what to get them. i mean, i have ideas, but nothing concrete just yet. they're worth it. for sure.

a part of me really just wants to go to Michael's, buy a lot of shit, and just make thingamaboppers for everyone. but i gots no tiiiime!

the funny thing is, i'm not big on cards. i loooooove receiving them, but i don't care to give them. it's odd, right? i'm sentimental as hell and i've kept every card/letter/note ever written to me since the 5th grade. maybe i'm just lazy...


... lazy enough to think of "cute" ideas and run around town making it happen for you ungrateful motherfuckers!

hahaha


my throat's doing better.
it's not so much hurty as it is now itchy. i woke up this morning at 6 to cough. :(


you know what else i'm excited for?

WRAPPING PRESENTS!!! :D
that'll be my time to shine!
hahaha i'm not even good at it, but i just like doing it.



all i ask is that you appreciate me for all that i am to you.
all the times i've fed you.
all the times i've surprised you with a little something.
all the times i've stayed on the phone with you.
just all the times that i'm there,
and knowing it in your heart that i will always be there
to laaaaaaaaaaaav you!



<3

Naughty Good Or Nice?

i am very proud to announce that i no longer stay out late.
nowadays i usually sleep before 2, but more often before 1.

i still go out, but i send my ass home early so i can get rested for the next day. am i getting old? or am i actually growing up? some people never grow up, no matter how old they get.

i'm actually quite surprised at myself for this quick transition. it may only be temporary, but still, it's a big difference from what i'm used to. i usually stay out past 3 or 4, and a lot of the time i don't even go home for the night. now, i find myself grow tired if i stay out past 12. maybe i am just getting old...

for the past few days i've been sleeping extra early because of my sore throat, and it's already getting better! it's making good progress to heal completely for the show on Wednesday night :)


so i've been doing some thinking about what kind of person i am.
the other night, the topic came up between Justine and i about how certain people in the world are NICE people, and others are GOOD people, while a percentage are actually both. i've always believed that i was both nice and good, but there are times when i doubt myself. (i know, that's ridiculous right? haha)

i've always found myself ready and willing to be there to make people feel better, even people whom i do not know very well. whenever someone has a problem, i get a primal instinct to pull him/her away from feeling low and to instill a more positive perspective inside his/her head. i do seemingly everything (appropriate) i can do to help.
so the question i have for myself is this: are you really a nice person, or are you simply drawn to people with problems? do you use the fact that you can brighten someone else's day in order to feel good about yourself?

i personally don't believe that i use helping people as good karma, or as a way of making me like myself better. i believe i genuinely care about the people in the world, and perhaps helping others with their "problems" is just easier than traveling to Uganda to save the invisible children. catch my drift a little?



i am a good person -- all the time.
i am a nice person -- most of the time :)