Destiny and Choices

i have just made the most glorious purchase.
please, set your faces to jealous:

anyone who hasn't seen this movie needs to. it is beyond magical, imaginative, and effortless moving. it gave me the most beautiful feelings when i was a child. you have no idea how envious i was of these 2 girls.

yesterday was very... fateful.
when i arrived at Cal Poly (aka. The Devil's Toilet), i parked in the meters section and headed towards Studio 6. when i got into the CLA building, i realized that i'd forgotten my cell phone in the car. i pondered for just a second whether or not i needed my phone. something told me yes, so i went back to get it. upon my retrieval of the cellular device, i headed back towards the building. then, just as God had intended, i bumped into my Jess, whom i'd been trying to contact earlier in the day (but couldn't because her cell phone had a whack attack and had to be turned off). i caught her up on the recent "happenings", she gave her 2 cents, then we parted ways.
i brought Andy a cheeseburger combo from the awesome Nogales Burger, since he doesn't live in this area and had never had it. he liked mucho, and we had fun catching up in Studio 6. it was a trip since i used to be in Studio 6 all the time, not as a mere visitor, but as a student trying to get her shit done.
during my visit, i received a very pleasant phone call from Sean-Paul. had i not gone back to get my phone, i would've been sorry to miss it. it just so happened that he was next-door at SAC. although i decided to stay at Poly, i still got to hear about some new developments in his life.

good ol' destiny. and the world keeps on spinnin'.


today = month end at work = slow as hell.
nothing's happening.
i'm so bored!

Azusa show tonight.
i support you in your decisions & pursuits, but do you support mine?
friendship: it's a two-way street.
lose your fuckin' judgment.


Happy Friday!

Squeeze-Worthy = Plans

lately i've been making plans with people that i don't ever see.
so today, i get to visit my dear Andrew Jameson Hall while he's working at Cal Poly :)
i'm excited! we always have fun just talking talking talking.
not very stoked about being at my ex-school, though.

i might even meet up with the BFFF! how great is my life?! hahaha :)

what's even more exciting is that i get to visit my dear friend Bradley next week. Bradley and i haven't seen each other since i was a freshman in college (and he was practically graduating. haha). it has sure been a while. since his graduation, he's moved to Manhattan Beach. he lives alone, so i get to make lots of noise in his house. haha so i researched Manhattan Beach, since i'd never been there, and found that it contains 88.99% white people. OF COURSE. haha i'm going to make him take me around town. i'm totally down to hit a bar or something.

i love love love love new places :)


tomorrow is the Azusa show at Chain. yay! familyyyy, assemble!
i miss the fam all gathered together in one place.
we don't do that often anymore. :(
does it have to take a birthday to get everyone together nowadays?
but i suppose we all have other things going on...
maybe this summer, we'll be back to the way we were?
awww... the way we were.


one thing i'm grateful for is that i'm not afraid to be alone.
i don't need to always be involved with someone to feel validated.
i can find my own fun. everywhere! <3

Get Ready to Smile

let's go to the zoo.

Gloomy Days, Gloomy Daze

everyday is a reason to celebrate.


for me, the dark & gloomy sky is a reason in itself. i absolutely love it!
i don't know, i just think that when the sun's radiance is subdued, we're allowed to see the world through our own eyes with no bias. we can discover things for ourselves, rather than being pointed to a certain direction. dark days. just so darn romantic.


another reason for joy?
my credit score has gone up again. it is now at the highest it's ever been. i'm proud of myself! it's been on the rise since last summer, however, it took a small plunge from December to January (hello, Christmas!). but now i'm back :) and higher than before. it's a small victory, i understand, but i'm just darn happy about it. i know it seems like i spend a lot of money, but i always put my bills first. whenever i get paid, i put about 60% of it towards paying my credit card, then about 15% to my savings account, and the rest is spendin' money! i admit, i do cheat sometimes and spend money from my savings, but whatever :T i get paid tomorrow, which means my credit card balance will become a big fat ZERO :) hurray!

i didn't mean to blabber so long on this subject. i got excited.


i want chicken MCnuggets.
chicken MCnuggets are the best nuggets around.
why so expensive? :/ why no more Dollar Tuesdays?



adventurous, i feel.

Log of My Weekend Feb. 15-17

i had a very jam-packed weekend.

on Friday afternoon, Jenn, Mark, Nancy, and i drove to Vegas so that Jenn could give a very special surprise :) it worked. everyone was happy. and then drunk. i had lots of fun. i would've liked it better if we had made it on time to see all of MAH's set, but the rest of the night made up for it. unfortunately, we were tired as hell. it was a very mutual decision to go home, and not spend the night in the packed hotel room meant for the band & its roadies. we left after 4AM and got home at around 9. as exhausted as i was, i couldn't pass up precious Felicity time, and watched 3 episodes before knocking out.

woke up at 5PM to get ready for another MAH set at the Glasshouse. 16 fuckin' dollars for an AIDEN show, that seriously pissed me off. the Vegas show was only $14. anyway, watched MAH's set and left the place. got home at a little past midnight. more Felicity. still tired as hell from the previous day, knocked out.

meant to go to Sprinkles on Sunday, but laziness (and the not-wanting-to-drive-so-far-ness) took over. more Felicity. knocked out sometime in the afternoon, waking up at 5PM. panicked a little bit, showered, got ready. met up with Scott, went to the Glasshouse again. EMERY! sold-out show. amazing :) for being sick, they had incredible energy. it was kinda funny that a bunch of kids left after Emery played their "last" song, without having played "Studying Politics" yet. (duh.) that was cool because it freed up a lot of room for me to get excited during "Politics". and i just have to say, "Walls" was fucking intense.


speaking of shows, Dear Life got on Bamboozle Left. i'm extremely happy for them, but not too surprised. i can't wait to see what the future has in store for this band. this is their year, and hopefully Azusa and DSB will soon follow. i'm just so proud, because this is my family. i've watched these brothers for the past 2 and a half years. the progress has been lengthy, but fruitful. from being support to headliners, becoming demanded in farther & farther areas of this country, gaining respect and loyal fans within the local scene, sharing line-ups with bigger and bigger bands, and on and on and on. the thing i love most, hands down, is watching kids sing along/(yell?) to their songs. i wouldn't be sad if they don't "make it". i'm happy knowing that they're doing what they love to do, with all of the family right beside them. why else would we spend $10 each time to watch the same thing over and over again? :)


all i know is, if and when Dear Life releases a 3rd album under a major label, a certain guitarist is getting me a Vespa.

;)

Friday!

secret mission today :)
i am so excited!

1.) leaving work early at around 1-1:30.
2.) road trip!
3.) i just love it there.
4.) spontaneity!

haha i'm just counting down the minutes until go-time.
i think perhaps i just really want to leave work. :T

last night was chill.
Marky introduced me to the British sitcom Extras. it's hilarious! i love dry British wit :) plus, "Christina" from Ugly Betty is the main female lead in the show. awww <33

there's an interesting article today on CNN.com that evaluates society's level of reception and rejection towards sexism, as compared to racism.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/02/15/kaye.ohioracegender/index.html

i am totally craving some, which is quite rare since i'm not big on sweets. Sprinkles is just so good though! i'm thinking of getting a dozen this weekend, while they still have the chocolate marshmallow. any requests?

i suppose i shall get on with my day now.
i'm leaving in an hour :D

A Tragic Loss

upon the discovery that Polaroid is ceasing all production of its LEGENDARY instant film by next year (due to ever-declining sales), i had a mini panic attack and bought 6 more packs. i believe i have one cartridge left sitting somewhere in my room, and a few exposures remaining in the camera. i don't bring that camera around as much as i should. i figure it'll come in handy when i travel. i suppose i will be stocking up on the film now, and perhaps a couple more cameras, whenever i feel like spending extra money. it costs approximately $1.35 per photo, but it's pretty much worth it.

my point is not to bore you with my fondness for my camera, but rather, to ask the question: how digital is this world striving to become?
it's obvious that non-digital photography costs much more, but are we willing to sacrifice history and tradition for money? i see the Polaroid phenomenon as a bridge to the gap that the olden days and technology have created. the Polaroid Corporation saw that the rapid progression of technology was kindling the human desire for instant gratification, therefore they resolved the burden of getting our photos developed by providing us with the next best thing. since then, technology has far surpassed the instant film camera, but it shall always be a staple of our society. i can't imagine a world without it.

you have to admit, there is just a certain feel to the Polaroid. it brings us to the past that we never knew. it's romantic; the anticipation for the image to show completely; the way the picture always possesses a vintage demeanor. the illusion is real.

and speaking beyond the subject of photography, don't you sometimes ponder how far technology and "innovation" will go? aren't you sometimes just sick of skyscrapers? and long to be standing next to St. Peters, or the Arc de Triomphe? i believe the old and new should co-exist, only that the new seems to be constantly squeezing the old out of the picture. (zing!...get it? picture? yeah, okay.)


enough for now.

2 Bus Rides, 1 Weekend

Saturday: Martin's Double-Decker Surprise

i won't go into any details, suffice it to say that it was grand times had by all! :) we did what we do best: getting intoxicated and shouting things to strangers. hahaha i felt like we were in a Christmas parade, and we were the Santa float. i fuckin' love L.A. i really, really do. but i know i won't stay.

i think we live for moments like these.


Sunday: Trip to Mexico

it was my first time, and it was amazing. i'd never seen Mexico with my own eyes before, and in many ways, it was just what i'd expected. some parts were really dilapidated, while some were extremely beautiful. they both made me feel grateful for the life bestowed upon me.
the feeling i had all day was that this is what i want to do with my life. i want to travel. i've known that for a while now, but the more i see, the stronger my conviction becomes.

i had the best lobsters & tortillas i've ever had. the Mexican people were so warm, even if they were just going after our money. haha i was totally suckered into buying stuff because i felt bad. and according to my family, i paid too much. dammit! i can't haggle for shit!!

Mexicans 1, Debbie Tan 0

good game, good game.

oh, and i rode a horse for the first time! on Rosarito beach :)
i've ridden a pony before, but that doesn't count.
anyway, i don't know how the movies manage to make horse-riding on the beach look so damn romantic, but it really hurts like hell. my horse liked to just start running out of nowhere, slamming me up & down against the saddle. i screamed "fuuuuck" a lot, more than usual. half the time i felt that i was going to fall off, all the while no one helped... at all. it was definitely an experience.
oh man, the funniest part was when i was in the process of STRUGGLING to get off of the horse, i realized that he was already peeing! ahhhhh! he didn't even wait for me to get off first! y'all know how i feel about seeing male horses pee :( i practically jumped off and just ran away. hahaha

i was home by 8:30PM, so i had time to upload & edit all the pics from the weekend. i was proud of myself for not lagging it, considering there were over 100 from Saturday alone.


i had an amazing weekend, can you tell?
2 surprises (Dann on Friday) and they totally worked :) yayyy!
oh, and i did receive my FM transmitter on Friday (in case you read my previous entry and wondered). and yes, it works perfectly! :)
in addition, That Thing You Do! and Paris, Je T'Aime arrived Saturday and are waiting to be watched. let's get excited!

Pointless Entry

20 minutes until the very, very jam-packed weekend, including Mexico on Sunday! :)


my new iPod transmitter should be waiting at home for me this very moment. it better fuckin' work, or else i'm gonna be pissed. this would be my 2nd transmitter, not counting the tape deck one that didn't work either.

i can't drive listening to the radio anymore. i just can't.
listen to me whine.

i shelled out over $100 for this new one. i deserve a working transmitter!


am i the only person who thinks that Katherine Heigl kinda has a potato head, like Rumor Willis? idk, it was a random thought when i looked at her poster for 27 Dresses.



MEESTUH SPAA-KOHHH!

:)

Employee Me

my first evaluation was today.

i was a little scared before going in, but it went great!
Andy (office manager) told me that i'm really good at my job and that he's happy that he hired me. he's so nice :) according to Andy, he was actually worried that i'd be bored with my job. i was completely honest and told him that it's very routine, but i'm not hating it... yet. then he told me something quite exciting.

our company is basically going to start retailing laptops online, since we never did before. (we're a distributor, not a re-seller.) anyway, the plan is to start advertising in media outlets like Teen Vogue, in order to attract the younger market.

basically, if that all goes through, he's going to promote me to handle the online accounts.

to be honest, it sounds like the same job, except with cheaper, dumber clients. i think i'd rather stay at my position now, helping out big East Coast accounts. but whatevs, i'm down for anything. it won't be for a whillle, anyway. Andy says that his main concern is to make my job appealing enough so i'd be willing to stay with the company for a long time. silly. all he has to do is pay me!

i feel more motivated now.

Le Fruit de Mon Âme

i'm back to where i've longed to be for a long time :)

i've thrown myself back into the arms of creativity, and she has met my embrace with warmth and enthusiasm. i haven't been in this mindset for quite a few months now and it feels great to be "back".

at the risk of sounding completely dumb and ostentatious, i feel the most beautiful when i'm creating. i find myself immersed in imperforable serenity whenever i translate my thoughts and ideas into art, no matter what media i'm using. it just feels so damn liberating, like driving 80MPH down a deserted country road. it's exhilarating and sedative at the same time, and definitely in a good way.

i'm very self-conscious about most of my works, but i think that's another thing i love about the whole process. it's personal. it's like a secret love affair between me and the world i touch. i'm the only one involved in this, so no other person can take it away from me. i love myself for my love of art. i feel blessed to even feel a single ounce of passion towards it, because i know that there are people in this world who could care less. i pride myself on my very bizarre and fantastic imagination. it's what i've got.

everybody has something; some people have their music, some have their pretty eyes, some have their relationships; i have my artistic endeavors.


i believe art is the intangible manifested through the aesthetic.
so the best part?
we are all artists.


go make something.
you'll feel amazing :)

Haters Wanna Hate, Lovers Wanna Love

i'm in a good mood :)

i'm taking David's advice to just ignore all the negativity that some people like to spread in our beautiful world.

virus.
propaganda.
lies.

i'm above all that bullshit.
and i hope you are, too.
i know it gets difficult to tolerate those who like to ignite hatred, but we must remember that they're the ones lacking, not us.


last night was really fun :)
i got to be with my awesome Family to celebrate Brian's 22nd birthday.
he was pretty off his face, so i guess mission accomplished!
happy hour rocks. hahaha i finally got to drink for the first time since New Years!
2 margaritas, 1 red head, and some hef = A-OK! :D


i'm excited for the weekend!
because it's the freakin' weekend!
(and imma 'bout to have me some fun. boopboop. beepbeep. pee on you, dripdripdrip.)



be safe & have fun! <3